im starting work soon.. and i swear soon.. like in 2 days time.. 9 solid hours.. im not very excited bout it anyway.. no time to pei him.. no time to shop and stuff.. everything brings my mood down.. and the tought that i hav to work and adapt to the new environment again irks me.. *sigh.. but to think of it again.. the mony and stuff.. i should be quite contented?? but i wish i'd have more time with him.. i wish we could spend every single free moment with each other.. he wont be free for me.. and even so.. i might not be free on the other hand.. =(
i havnt been very nice today, i swear i was evil.. and i havnt been feeling very =) either.. he organized an outing.. yeaps and lotsa pple turnned up.. SHE was here to.. but i didn tok to her.. didn feel like it.. maybe it was just me.. but i still dun hav a friendly feeling towards her.. i admit i was evil.. coz i totally treatedd her as if she was invisible.. it was even when we decided to take a group photo, i dragged shirlynn into the neo-machine and i left them standin out.. but i really still dun like you.. not as if i didn try to be friendly.. but i'll just turn mute* da moment i see u.. *ggrrzz im not feeling very proud bout what i did but.. yeahz.. im not feeling sorry or bad either.. coz im very sure i was invisible to u too? hahas.. whatever.. i dun care.. i dunnoe and i dun bother.. =
john kor.. if u are reading this....... well i didn tell him.. i didn ask.. i didnt.. coz i didn noe hoe to.. i didn even tok to him much.. i dunnoe why izzit so hard.. its just difficult? i dunnoe i feel wored..
shitty shit shit.. other than the rain and the things i just complained bout, there is still one more thing that really spoilt my day.. i saw that cat and da cat's girl on the bus.. god damn.. why am i just so sway today? everything seemed to be against me can.. sighz* hes botak.. should be goin to the army soon? dunno la.. dun care..
sky called me up too.. dunnoe whats hes up to either.. wanted to meet me upt tml.. to return the keys? guess so.. dun feel like meeting him at all.. but i dun want to keep his stuff with me either.. =p
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there is always a saying that go by * the lower your expectations the lesser your dissapointment..
how true can this be? well i dun belive in such things.. untill like last nite? dun wanna say much.. but ya.. its actually quite true.. but the term * no expectations is really quite FAKE.. how can there be *no expectations? esp when it comes to a relationship.. sighz* im trying to let go.. trying not to expect too much.. trying to do lotsa things.. trying to adapt even.. haiz
lotsa doubts.. lots.. lotsa questions.. lots.. lotsa tears.. lots.. lotsa fears.. lots..
fear of loosing?? fear of hving?? everything..
im tired..
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